


All At Once

by Spaghettibopp



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Confessions, F/F, Love Confessions, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 03:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11282676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spaghettibopp/pseuds/Spaghettibopp
Summary: This was what she wanted, right?They were just supposed to be working on their next performance. Riko had not prepared for this.





	All At Once

“This is a great song Riko!”  
“Yeah, you really went all out this time!”  
The two shared a brilliant smile, one that lit up the room. The three had met up to work on the next song for Aqours, listening to what Riko had already finished. She couldn't help but feel grateful for their company. The girls had been there for her since she arrived; without their support, she doubted she would have gotten as far as she had. Being around them just reminded her of it, bringing a nice feeling to her insides.

She waved off their praise with flustered gratefulness, the words stuttering out like a rock tumbling down a hill. To keep control, she gripped her skirt and watched as their attention fell back to the music. Chika’s eyebrows were drawn together in concentration as she scribbled down ideas for the lyrics, You trying to take a peek every now and then but ultimately spending time working on the designs for their costumes.

The sight of the two working so hard on their next performance warmed her heart in a way that none of the others seemed to be able to. She loved all of Aqours, and Guilty Kiss had become a special place in its own right, but nothing could compare to how her heart flipped at the sight of Chika, tongue stuck out the side, writing down what she thought might fit with Riko’s music, or when You would try to rotate herself like the sketchbook she was drawing on. Of course, Riko tried to assist as well as she could, helping to synchronize the possible words to the notes on the sheet as well as put in her own ideas for the outfits, but she wasn’t as creative or flowery as the other two.

The hours were slowly worn away, and the afternoon sky turned into an opaque dusk. They were left with little choice but to stop for the night.

“But come ooooonnn Riko. If we just stayed up a little bit longer….”

The girl gave her best pout, and while Riko may have succumbed another day, she couldn’t deny that they all looked as tired as she felt. Even Chika, who was still trying to convince her, had the tell-tell signs of someone who had worked assiduously for the better part of the day, and she could be pretty good at hiding that.

“We can finish tomorrow.” She gave her most reassuring smile, pulled down and softened by fatigue. You gave a heavy yawn, as if to help make her point. “Maybe Riko is right. We got a lot done, at least.” She gestured to the papers scattered around the floor, sketches and lyrics lying together as if part of the same torn-up book.

“Aw…. But we’ve got so much more to do!”

Chika’s allies turned against her by sharing a laugh. “What did I say?” She looked frantically between them, the confused expression on her face deepening when You gave her a pat on the head. “You’re so motivated. But we’re exhausted, and I’d like to get home before it gets too late.” Riko nodded. “I may live next door, but my mom will be expecting me soon as well.” She glanced at the clock, a bit dismayed to find that she had already stayed past what she had planned. She supposed it couldn’t be helped, though it did mean her dinner would be a bit colder than usual.

“Hey wait … before you guys leave….”

They paused, turning to Chika. She bit her lip, as if unsure of what to say.

“You both have really helped make Aqours what we are now. Without you two, we never would’ve gotten as far as this. Riko, you’re always working so hard on making our music, and you do a really good job! You’ve been through a lot, but you still fight through it. You’re one of the strongest members here, even counting Kanan! And she's like, super tough.” The praise completely caught her off guard, but before Riko could say anything, their leader had turned her attention to the other girl in the room.

“And You! You’ve always been by my side. I’m lucky to have a friend like you. You back me up, even when my ideas seem crazy at first, and you always seem to know how to handle things. You keep pushing forward, even when anyone else would quit. And you do your best on our costumes too. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen you stay up late to finish sewing them all! It’s really impressive.” You too seemed to be at a loss for words, but there wasn’t much of a pause for them anyway. What little time of silence there was, was just enough for Chika to take in a deep breath to exclaim,

“I think you guys are awesome and I like you both a lot!

“And more than-and more than just as a friend. I really think you two are the best and … I just wanted you to know that. Even if you don’t feel the same. I needed to get it off my chest before it exploded or something.” She gave a nervous laugh, but otherwise the room remained still.

And there was that pause they had needed.

Riko’s heart was thumping too loudly in her ears, hammering into her head like the beat of one of their songs. It was followed by a familiar rushing, the kind like thunder that warned of the storm ahead. She tried to keep it in, but suddenly everything was in sharp focus, and it felt like it was all staring at her. It was too bright, too loud, too _much_. She couldn’t move, could only try to cover her face before the tears started to fall.

This was what she wanted, right? Why was she crying?

“Ah, Riko! I’m sorry!” She wanted to say that it was alright, that she wished she could stop and she had no idea why it even started, but her throat felt full. If she tried to speak through it, her voice would only crack, and it would break her down into sobs. She tried to wave it away like she had the praise, but it only exposed her face, quivering lip and all. What a pitiful sight she must have been.

“H-hey, are you alright?” You was at her side, but Chika was at her front, and being half surrounded by the people she loved as she made a fool of herself somehow didn’t help. She wanted to stop, wanted to say that it was alright and she would be fine, but her heart only pounded harder as they gave her too much attention. _Stay away, stay away. Don’t look at me while I’m like this._

“Come on, let’s get you to your house.” An arm found her shoulder, and she wanted to shrug it off, but she didn’t want You to think she was angry. No, no, she wasn’t angry. She didn’t want them to assume what she was feeling, because it was all wrong, wrong, wrong. The distraught look on Chika’s face, hardly seen through the blur of the salty water, only made things worse. _It’s okay! I’m okay!_

_I love you too…._

She was led out of the room, her head falling in shame. There was a sense of relief as she got away from one of them, but the other was still at her side, and she still couldn’t stop crying through the hall. A small weight had lifted, but it only gave space for doubtful thoughts. Thoughts like what Chika’s mother could possible have been thinking as she saw her daughter’s friend come out of her room in tears. How terrible she must’ve looked, and what a bad light she must have put on Chika. Was she disturbing the guests? Were any of them out of their rooms and staring at her, watching as she was led like a caught stray to its cage?

They got outside, and Riko tried so hard to make things better right then. She sniffled and held her breath as if that would somehow make it quit. It only served to worsen her image.

Now she really did look like she was sobbing.

Suddenly, she could feel the warmth of one of You’s hands move from her shoulder to her back, rubbing gently. Riko was pulled in closer to the swimmer, nearly leaning into the girl until they just stopped and she was in a hug. She wasn’t sure who started it, but she focused on holding on as tight as she could instead of worrying about it. Part of it was to keep herself steady; the other was to try and reassure You that she really was fine.

She was still snotty, still crying, only now into one of her crush’s hair. “It’s alright….” You sounded so soft, so genuine. The heavy load on her heart started to ease away, just a little. Her lip started quivering again, but this time the sobs stayed back. Her throat was still too closed, too full to speak, so Riko mouthed “thank you” over and over into You’s shirt instead.

They pulled back all too soon, even if it felt as if a piece of her went with it. She tried not to let the disappointment show, instead managing a watery smile as she focused on the little bit better she was feeling.

It was all starting to crash back in the more they looked at each other, the more pressure she felt, but she was saved as You pulled out a napkin and dabbed her face. The girl held a soft smile, one that made warm, fluttery feelings enter Riko’s stomach, which caused a touch of anxiety to flare back up. You was still Riko’s crush, and here she was being treated like she hadn’t just been ugly crying all over her. She didn’t deserve this. None of them deserved this.

“Hey.” The hand holding the napkin stopped to cup her cheek, encouraging Riko to look at You. “Don’t you start crying again. It’s going to be alright, okay? We can talk about it in the morning, if you want.” Despite the rather crude start, her voice was still gentle, and her words slow. She was talking as if Riko was something too fragile to speak normally to. As if the wrong word would somehow shatter her. But as offended as she should’ve been, she couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit in agreement.

The rest of the walk was only a few steps. You gave her a somewhat awkward pat on the back before wishing her farewell. Riko was already feeling refreshed as she stepped inside, her spirits much higher than before.

She made it fairly far, face dry although most certainly still flushed, when it hit her like a car to a wall; instant and disastrous. Her stomach dropped, and suddenly she wasn’t in the mood for dinner, regardless of how cold or hot it was. She felt sick. Sick in the stomach, sick in the throat, sick in the head. How could she do that to her friends? Chika had confessed to them, and what had she done? She had run away.

_Not before they watched me sobbing like an idiot._

Oh god, what would they think of her? The last thing Riko would ever want would be to hurt either one of their feelings, especially when the love was requited. How was she supposed to face them again? What kind of explanation could she possibly give for why she had started crying, one that wouldn’t make it sound worse than it was?

Riko excused herself for the night, unable to focus. If she just let tomorrow come, then she would be unprepared for whatever Chika or You would have to say. But she couldn’t spend the night worrying either; her body was far too wore out to let her mind keep running the way it was. It felt impulsive to go to bed without a plan, but she had done some rather impulsive things since joining Aqours. Plus… _Things can still work out._

Things had to work out.

She stayed facing the window, as if holding onto the hope that maybe one of the girls would call for her like they had whenever Riko needed them most. She fell asleep without hearing so much as a whisper.

-CHAPTER END-

**Author's Note:**

> I originally planned to kill Chika off after she confessed. Dunno, fun fact? This was going to be the 'fluff' ending, for where that didn't happen.
> 
> I do plan for a second chapter, but it’s still in the works, so I’m not sure when it will be ready to be uploaded. My apologies ahead of time.  
> In any case, thank you for reading! I'm happy just knowing you made it to the end, though of course kudos, comments, and critiques are appreciated!  
> Hope you enjoyed. See you next time~


End file.
